It’s that time of year again. The time when I will request a C-Permit. Again.
Since I failed to obtain that all-important “I’m a foreigner in Switzerland but not as foreign as some other foreigners” permit last year, I’ve taken it upon myself to give you some additional reasons for why I am now what my Swiss friend Tom calls, “Swisser than the Swiss” (key words, “Swiss friend.” See, I am integrating.)
One: There is an alphorn in my living room. It has been there for two years.
Two: When a train is one minute late, I check my watch constantly and get chest pains.
Three: I can’t travel anymore without thinking how dirty the rest of the world is.
Four: I have used quark for homeopathic treatments. Several times.
Five: I’ve held an August 1 party every year since 2006.
Six: When the clock strikes twelve, I automatically say “En Guete” to anyone and everyone.
Eight: Say the word “Foehn” and my head automatically pounds.
Nine: I have increased my yearly chocolate consumption by over one kilo (I would especially like to give credit to all of those post-Ostern chocolate bunnies on Aktion).
Ten: I no longer type “y” when I mean “z” and vice versa.
Eleven: I have Reka checks and I’m not afraid to use them.
Twelve: I have gained a true appreciation for capitalizing Nouns.
In conclusion, I would like to thank you for something very precious to your people: time. I will leave you with the traditional Migros cashier farewell: “Danke vielmal shoenen Tag auf Wiedersehen adieu.”
Mit Freundlichen Grüssen