I’ve only been die Mom for six months now, but if you’re like me, below are nine things you’ll notice as an American mom in Switzerland:
All the other moms look much more put together than you do. (Of course, this is nothing new. Before you even became a mom these moms made you feel like the biggest fashion slacker to ever shop in a Migros.)
Pampers are 40 per cent off at leshop.ch this week. And you’re still going to buy them in Germany. You’re an American and you want a real deal, not a Swiss one. Slap the word “baby” on any Swiss product and enjoy a 2000 per cent price increase. Add “Made in Switzerland” it jumps to 3000 per cent.
You are jealous of your child’s ability to learn Swiss German by osmosis. But you are also relieved that in a few years, you will have your very own translator (one, however, that is surely to be more embarrassed than you are about your barely functioning B2 language abilities).
Old women know best. Your baby is too hot. Your baby is too cold. Your stroller technique getting off the train could be improved (not that they’ll help).
The man that has lived below you for five years is suddenly talking to you. Important: Babies and alphorns are Switzerland’s secret social networking tools. Carry both at the same time and you’ll have such a social day out you’ll feel like you’re in the US.
Swiss playgrounds are much cooler than American playgrounds. When a country is run by its people instead of by its lawyers, life is a lot more fun.
You can’t help but search for apartments that have washing machines. It was bad before, but post-baby, the shared-laundry room burnout has hit a new high.
Strollers are free to bring on trains but bikes are not. Not that you’re going to complain-at least until you get that Chariot.
You can’t wait to make a fortune selling your baby stuff on the Swiss second-hand market. SFr 350 ($385) for a used stroller, anyone?
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