Forget removing stones from horses’ hooves (has anyone ever done this?). It’s the 21st century now and the familiar red and ready-for-anything knife has got what it takes. These days it can include a USB memory stick, a digital altimeter, or my personal favourite, a laser pointer.
They’re terrific fun. You can beam a small red dot clear across the room. Of course they’re useless for making presentations, but they’re great for entertaining playful cats, and make fascinating visual effects when aimed at the edge of your watch glass. Someone once told me you could fry a fly’s brain by shining a laser pointer into its eyes.
Purely in the interests of scientific research (rather like Japanese whaling ships) I decided I just had to give this a try. It wasn’t easy. Flies tend not to stay in the same place for long. And chasing one around the room with a red dot quickly gets boring. So instead I found a less manoeuvrable insect: an ant. But firing the laser at it seemed to have no effect whatsoever. I don’t know whether this is because ants have less fryable brains than flies, or because laser pointers can’t fry anything. Maybe someone can enlighten me.
Many’s the time one of my boring English lessons has been enlivened when I pull out the CyberTool to cut some paper. “My, that’s a big one,” as the killer said to Clint Eastwood and his .44 Magnum in Dirty Harry. Mine’s got no fewer than nine screwdrivers: everything you need to dismantle a computer. I’ve never had to do that, but when trying to run some cables out of sight I was dismayed to discover that our admirable Swiss carpenters had used those fancy six-pointed Torx screws to fix the skirting boards. The Swiss Army Knife to the rescue! So I’ve failed to fry a fly and screwed the skirting. What have you done with yours?
Tags: Life in Switzerland, Swiss, Swiss army knife
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Haven’t been chasing insects with the laser pointer, but the knives are great tools. I have the one with the USB key, but I found it more useful when moving. I was able to cut up boxes and tape with this tiny model rather than use some dangerous looking object (No, that’s a knife, said Mick Dundee)!
The most useful tool in a Swiss knife, in my opinion, is the scissors. I always have my creditcard-sized one handy. Once when I was in an embassy, I lent it to some people to cut their photos to fit on the application form, but later I found out a more handy tool to do the job — a ready photo cutter, which, with just a single press, could cut the photos off more nicely. Other than that, my Swiss knife always sleeps in my purse for next occasion of showing-off.
I am a farmer in Indiana and I use my Swiss knife every day. I got it from my relatives in Langnau. From time to time I have to clean it.
I have a budget version and have only ever used the screwdriver. Ross, are you sure the ‘laser pointer’ is actually a laser? I think it might just be a focussed red light otherwise you could fry a person’s eyesight just as easily as a fly’s brains.
What do you use your Swiss Army Knife for???
Removing stones from horses hooves: has anyone ever done this?
It’s the 21st century now.